Excerpts from an incarcerated catling's diary

Thursday 5th April
Day One of our incarceration.... we have been abandoned by our people. In short they have L.E.F.T  U.S. A.L.O.N.E. 

It started so well, the human who says she is our mom ( what mom would abandon her catlings?) went off to work and the other three allowed us out into the garden where we were free as the wild beasts we are supposed to be.

Then - for our own safety apparently - we were put in the greenhouse where we had to console ourselves by lying on emerging vegetable seedlings. We watched through pretend-sleepy-eyelids our people load the thing they call the carryvan. Then without a bye or leave we were captured and bundled away into the house and they.....drove.....away........

We have been abandoned.
 Left.
 Alone.

With only a bowl full of munchies and two plates of cat meat for company. How could they?

Later - a very kindly prison guard came to top up our meagre rations - we treated her with contempt as she is an accomplice to the act of abandonment.

Friday 6th April
Day two of our incarceration - so it continues.

Our kindly warden returns, feeds us more prison rations - we can barely get by with the two huge plates of meat and the mountain of munchies - we will starve.

We hunt and kill an eggbox and spill it's cardboard innards across the lounge carpet - this will surely make our people return.

We sulk. My sister decides that now that we are the only surviving creatures in the house - we should claim the big bed. So we go upstairs to steal the blanket - only to find that the humans have taken that with them. We find they have stolen the duvet too - why? Oh why?

Saturday 7th April
Day 3 of our incarceration.
We are still the sole survivors (bar our visiting guard - who we ignore when she bends down to tickle our ears)  Our ploy to get our humans to return by slaughtering the egg box has failed. We need to resort to more drastic measures.
My sister has taken to chewing the edges of all the plants to help calm her nerves - it is not working. So today she has decided to vent her frustrations on that curly long leafed grassy plant thing that our so-called mom loves - and give it a short back and sides.

Sunday 8th April
Day 4 of our incarceration.
We need to cause the purrrrrfect storm to bring our humans home. My sister has beaten me up, left tufts of fur on the floor. She has beaten up all the remaining plants - left shreds of green leaf spitty-bits on the carpet and beaten up the cushions and tossed them onto the floor - good - that will teach them to abandon us. Later we will attack the yarn collection in the hall way - a sure fire way to get noticed - hahaha!

Later - we have done the dirty deed - the yarns have been released from their prisons - unlike us - and we have tossed them along the hall, their pretty colours across the floor have briefly improved our oppressed lives. With the threads tangled into patterns - this surely will get our message across to our people - time to come home.

Monday 8th April
I can barely bring myself to write.... my paws are weak. My heart is broken. Will they ever come back? If they ever return we will never speak to them again.

Later - is that a car I can hear? Is that them?
It Is! It is! at last they have returned ....... prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr prrrrrrrrrr

Oh well, they returned - so all our tricks worked - we must now ensure they never escape again. We shall follow them closely and trip them up at every turn. We will purrrrrrr and purrrrrr until they give up and succumb to our charms.


PS - apparently they had a brilliant time away in the carryvan - without a care or a thought about us....think I will stomp on them at 3am when they are fast asleep - aha revenge is mine!!

PPs - my human mom will report on their time away in the next post - she is still trying to catch with with the washing and work - and she wants us to feel sorry for her?!?